Tue, 01 May 2007 19:19:00 GMT

I need to leave him and other certain aspects of my life behind.
sex_crimes
new.
better.
happier.
friends only too, add me.

Sun, 01 Oct 2006 20:48:07 GMT

friends only! comment to be added.

Don't expect this to be the kind of story that goes: and then, and then, and then. What happens here will have more of that fashion magazine feel, a Vogue or a Glamour magazine chaos with page numbers on every second or fifth or third page. Perfume cards falling out, and full-page naked women coming out of nowhere to sell you make-up. Don't look for a contents page, buried magazine-style twenty pages back from the front. Don't expect to find anything right off. There isn't a real pattern to anything, either. Stories will start and then, three paragraphs later:
Jump to page whatever.
Then, jump back.
This will be ten thousand fashion seperates that mix and match to create maybe five tasteful outfits. A million trendy accessories, scarves and belts, shoes and hats and gloves, and no real clothes to wear them with. And you really, really need to get used to that feeling, here, on the freeway, at work, in your marriage. This is the world that we live in. Just go with the prompts.

Jump back twenty years to the white house where I grew up with my father shooting super-8 movies of my brother and me running around the yard.
Jump to present time with my folks sitting on lawn chairs at night, watching the same super-8 movies projected on the white side of the same white house, twenty years later. The house is the same, the yard the same, the windows projected in the movies lined up just perfect with the real windows, the movie grass aligned with the real grass, and my movie-projected brother and me being toddlers and running around wild for the camera.
Jump to my brother being all miserable and dead from the big plague of AIDS.

Just remember, the same as a spectacular Vogue magazine, remember that no matter how close you follow the jumps:
Continued on page whatever.
No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense that you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin you didn't experience it all. There's that fallen heart feeling under your skin that you rushed right through the moments where you should have been paying attention.
Well, get used to that feeling. That's how your whole life will feel some day. This is all practice. None of this matters. We're just warming up.
Jump to here and now.

staring at the wrecking ball

friends only! comment to be added.